Jeff Chausse
Digital Strategy + Design
"I Got the Drums Because they Looked Cute"
My office is about 20 feet from the Harmonix reception area, where a cheerful fellow named Phillip answers calls from anyone who happens to find our office number. Due to my proximity, I get to overhear most of these calls.
Despite the fact that we clearly instruct people they need to contact EA for technical support, and that we have absolutely no staff or process for that sort of thing, we inevitably get support calls, and Philip does his best to politely help them as best he can. Today, he received the call of the century, which he transcribed as follows (I can personally vouch for the fact that he was actually far more polite, and this has been drastically simplified for editorial purposes):
Caller: Hello, i tried plug my drums into the wall and it didn’t work.
Phillip: You need to plug the drums into your console system.
Caller: Oh, what is a console?
Phillip: A game system, like an Xbox 360 or PlayStation 3.
Caller: Oh, i don’t know what one of those is. So, you’re telling me i need to buy something else? I got the drums because they looked cute.
Phillip: Yes, ma’am. You need to buy a console and the Rock Band game and you play it through your television.
Madame: How does the console get from the drums to your television? We don’t have a television. I see 4 buttons and one for your foot. Does the foot one plug into the wall? it doesn’t seem to fit.
Phillip: You should return the drum kit and ask a sales representative what it is that you need to play.
Who knows, it might have been a prank, but it was still damned funny.
25 Things – Yes, I Succumbed
For those who don’t know, there’s a simple, but compelling meme going around on Facebook. You just write down 25 random things about yourself, then tag 25 more people to do the same. I usually avoid stuff like this like the plague, but I was intrigued, thinking it might be a good opportunity for self-reflection. It was, and I was glad I did it. For those of you who aren’t lucky enough to be connected to me in Facebook (and I don’t accept invitations from people I don’t know from real life – sorry!), here’s my list. Enjoy.
1. I once had to get stitches after a hard drive-installing accident
2. I totaled a car when I hit a jersey barrier on a highway. The car careened off the road, avoided all guard rails, buildings, and other cars – then landed in a wooded ditch. I walked away with a single scratch and what was apparently a bruised sternum, becuase it hurt when I laughed or coughed for about a year. The tow truck driver who pulled me out was amazed I survived at all.
3. Mints make me sneeze
4. I’ve moved 9 times in less than 15 years: Rhode Island to Worcester to Shrewsbury to Marlborough to Beverly, back to Rhode Island, to Allston to Salem, back to Marlborough, then to Wayland. I’m a homeowner now with an underwater mortgage, so I’ll probably stay put for a while.
5. I wrote four plays, including one monologue, which were performed by my college theatre group at Worcester Polytechnic Institute.
6. Years before BitTorrent was developed, I came up with an idea much like it, which I called “CacheWave”. I wrote up about 1/2 a spec before I lost interest.
7. On a whim, I once drove to Canada just to buy Canadian candy bars, and got detained by the border agents because they thought the story was ridiculous.
8. My car once broke down in upstate New York and a I got a ride home to WORCESTER from a total stranger, who refused any payment, or even gas money, and ended up being a born-again Christian who blasted Christian rock cassettes the whole way.
9. When I was a kid I had a recurring nightmare about getting trapped in the back of a possessed car and getting tormented by the headrest, which turned into an evil face.
10. My organized sports career consisted of one summer in a farm league baseball team that placed dead last. I played DEEP RIGHT FIELD.
11. My only real regret in life is getting into extensive credit card debt in college. So many opportunities lost because I was forced to seek out high paying jobs just to break even. I still haven’t fully recovered.
12. My least favorite thing about myself is my lack of perseverance. Some things I wish I had practiced long enough to get good at when I was a kid: drawing, piano, tennis, and skateboarding. This is the one thing I’m going to be a pain in the ass about with my kids – ensuring that they stick with at least ONE thing that they can be really good at all their lives.
13. The first thing I thought when my son was born was “Where’s his face?!” It was 2:14 AM and I was getting very tired and somewhat delusional. I was focused so intently on his “crowning” head, waiting for him to finally come out… For some reason I thought he’d be coming out face up, and I freaked out for a second when all I saw was hair.
14. Since I got my current job, it’s the first time in my life when I haven’t been trying to figure out how to make my next career move. The only things I don’t like about my current job are challenges caused by my own personal shortcomings, which is a great place to be.
15. My favorite drink is a well-made mojito. Gin and tonic is a close second when that’s not an option.
16. I once waited in line behind James Carville in a Washington, D.C. Starbucks.
17. I get cranky – I mean REALLY CRANKY – when waitstaff at restaurants let my water or soda glass run dry.
18. My top 5 videogames of all time, for any system: Starcraft, Super Mario Bros. 3, The Sims 2, Super Mario 64, Half-Life 2.
19. I met my wife via online personals. I knew she was something special when she played her “Kyle’s Mom is a Bitch” ringtone for me. Little did I know how Cartman-like her personality really was.
20. The two most life-changing books I’ve read are “Getting Things Done”, and “Crucial Conversations”. I don’t exactly follow their advice thoroughly yet, but I’ve experienced their lessons deeply enough to know my life would be far better if I did.
21. The three most important life lessons I’ve learned: 1.) No one can “make you feel bad” except yourself. 2.) Don’t worry about the things you can’t change. Seriously, just don’t. 3.) Stress is caused by knowing the right thing to do and not doing it (that last one’s thanks to Larry Winget, I have to admit).
22. The most important “management” lesson I’ve learned: The first thing to do in any hairy situation is to GATHER FACTS. If you can’t drive desired change by simply stating facts, re-evaluate what you’re trying to accomplish.
23. I worked at Wendy’s one summer and permanently have the proper order of burger condiments permanently ingrained in my brain: ketchup, mayonnaise, pickles, tomato, onion, lettuce (+ small swipe of mustard on the meat).
24. I’ve never smoked a cigarette. That’s one of the few things in life I’m inclined to feel smug about.
25. I had no interest in popular music outside of novelty albums until junior high school. Then one day, I saw an “R.E.M./Green” pin on a backpack and somehow it instantly changed my life, even though I don’t think I knew what was on that album at the time. I bought the cassette and played it so many times all the writing wore off of it. R.E.M. was my favorite band for over a decade and it introduced me the world of “alternative” music, making me an outcast for the rest of my high school days. I lost interest in most music again in the late 90′s, which turned around when I heard “New Slang” by the Shins one day (yup, just like in Garden State). Suddenly, I was buying up indie pop albums left and right again.