Despite the fact that we clearly instruct people they need to contact EA for technical support, and that we have absolutely no staff or process for that sort of thing, we inevitably get support calls, and Philip does his best to politely help them as best he can.  Today, he received the call of the century, which he transcribed as follows (I can personally vouch for the fact that he was actually far more polite, and this has been drastically simplified for editorial purposes):

Caller: Hello, i tried plug my drums into the wall and it didn’t work.

Phillip: You need to plug the drums into your console system.

Caller: Oh, what is a console?

Phillip: A game system, like an Xbox 360 or PlayStation 3.

Caller: Oh, i don’t know what one of those is. So, you’re telling me i need to buy something else? I got the drums because they looked cute.

Phillip: Yes, ma’am.  You need to buy a console and the Rock Band game and you play it through your television.

Madame: How does the console get from the drums to your television? We don’t have a television. I see 4 buttons and one for your foot. Does the foot one plug into the wall? it doesn’t seem to fit.

Phillip: You should return the drum kit and ask a sales representative what it is that you need to play.

Who knows, it might have been a prank, but it was still damned funny.

I can’t stop laughing at this one though…

“Apple was supposed to become a wonderful consumer products company. This was a lunatic plan. High tech could not be designed and sold as a consumer product.”

This wasn’t just an offhand comment to the press.  It’s committed for posterity in Sculley’s memoir: “Odyssey” (13 used copies are currently available for $0.01 if you’re looking for further inspiration.)

And this is why he really should have stuck with selling “sugared water”.

Also, check out this video of Scarlett Johansson naked

From vowe dot net.

An entire blog could be devoted to the contents of this book. Sometimes it’s spot on, sometimes it’s way off, but the most interesting parts are the ones where life could easily have turned out they way they describe if a butterfly flapped its wings in just a slightly different way.

I’ve kept this book on a table in my office that I always walk by, and I’m constantly picking it up and perusing a random page. Today, it was about the effects of inflation. So, without further ado, here are the prices we’re looking at in 2010, three years from now (p. 158).

• Hamburger (1 lb.) $22.71
• Dozen Large Eggs: $18.00
• Magazine: $30.00
• Calculator: $50.00 (he he)
• Postage Stamp: $2.25
• Cup of coffee: $4.50 (OK, they kind of got that one right, in a weird way)
• Three Room Apartment Monthly Rent: $10,000
• Three Bedroom House: $1,000,000

Oh, but wait:

• Gallon of Gas: $2.00

Well, the good news is that a factory worker will be making $197,000 a year to help pay for all this stuff (p. 159).

Thanks to Matt D.